Biker Bars & Pee Wee Herman

tricking bikers

By Brad Ingle

Oliver Grimstone meets Clay Morrow

Last night, I drove up to the place where I was to do my Screams promo. The restaurant/bar was surrounded by hundreds of Harley Davidsons, and there was a sea of leather-clad bikers meandering around. Thoughts of the Tequila Scene from ‘Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure’ danced in my head, and I thought, “This will be challenging.” I swallowed hard, and put on my top hat.

Even though I had white goth pancake makeup on, and purple eye shadow – I looked creepy – to my surprise the ladies were a bit flirty. With their twangy voices they said,“What are you supposed to be, baby?” I walked by the band and got caught in a gaggle of middle-aged biker ladies who started dancing with me. “Woooooh! You got it, baby!” I thought this was funny, but then I realized this was a great place to get knocked out, and excused myself as soon as I could.

I could see the headlines, “Local children’s magician brutally beaten by angry bikers. Janet Gorgonzolla (AP) In a shocking crime, that is stunning the DFW area, the gentle and beloved Dallas entertainer, Brad Ingle, was savagely attacked by several enraged members of an outlaw motorcycle gang. ‘That ol’ boy got too close to my old lady, and I guess I just snapped,” said Cutter McGee, outlaw biker.” But nothing like that happened.

I was dressed as Oliver Grimstone, (top hat, Victorian frock coat, etc.) but I kind of blended in with the crowd of black leather. Bikers have a kind of uniform. One fellow, had ‘Mr. Asshole’ printed in Old-Englishy letters on his baseball cap. I wonder if this was a custom job that he had embroidered? “Just call me Mr. Asshole! That’s how I like to represent myself!” Or is this some kind of brand? “When you see the name Mr. Asshole you can rest-assured that luxury and fashion are not compromised by our exacting quality standards. Mr. Asshole, made in America, …because it matters.”


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